Blog: Articles filed under economy

Once upon a time, I expressed a desire to live in Iceland. Unfortunately, these tough economic times have been even tougher on Iceland, what with the government collapsing and all.

Our government came close to dissolving. It looks like that won’t happen, however, now that the Liberal party has a new leader who’s decided he’ll support the Conservative budget. Many people are upset with this about-face by Michael Ignatieff.¹ Since I don’t understand economics and don’t know how to manage money, the best I can do is shrug and hope that our government isn’t planning to do anything silly.²

Meanwhile, I plan to switch back to the barter system. Think about how much the barter system benefits from the digital world! I don’t have to trade chickens; I can just trade electrons with you. It is, by definition, electronic currency. If you prefer a rarer commodity as a currency, you may also trade positrons. Be careful with those, however, as they are liable to annihilate electrons—so I‘d keep my bank accounts separate, if I were you.

Now that we are indubitably living in the End Times, we should kick back and relax. The world’s ending, so it’s not like there’s much of a tomorrow to worry about, now is there? Regarding the afterlife, the majority of the world’s going to be wrong in any event. So pick a religion (or a non-religion) and stick with it; it’s not going to matter much in the end.

And since you won’t be around, this is a great time to take out more of those credit cards the banks eagerly thrust into your hands. You might be saying, “Wait, isn’t that how we got into this mess in the first place?” That’s true, but we’ve dug the hole so deep there’s no getting out of it, and when that happens, you might as well keep digging.

You can then use the credit cards to buy every one of those products advertised on TV. You know the ones I’m talking about: infomercial products, the kind with the toll-free number at the end and the fast-talking voice that informs you about doubling your offer for free (plus expensive shipping and handling fees). If you‘re like me, you’ve often wished your job consisted of ordering those products just to see if they really work as well as advertised. Well, thanks to your fraudulent credit cards, you can!

This massive buying spree using fake credit will keep the delivery companies going for the next ten or fifteen years until the evil army of robots rises up and destroys us. Survivors will be utterly and mercilessly destroyed, since robots aren’t evil overlords and don’t make the same mistakes.

So thanks a lot, Iceland.

• [ 1 ] Especially Jack Layton: “Blast! My evil plans foiled again! Nyaaah!”
• [ 2 ] Read: We are. So screwed.

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, recently released the results of a survey of economists that he commissioned. You can read the results yourself; those of you who are economically-inclined may want to view the available slideshow (lots of tasty graphs and percentages). Adams has also posted his opinion on the results of the survey.

I‘ve been reading Scott Adams’ blog since its inception on TypePad. I enjoy his wit and his unique perspective on both mainstream and esoteric issues. Much of what he says is designed to get a rise out of people and provoke them into calling him a stupid lemon-eater. Some of his favourite subjects include intelligent design, the workplace, environmentalism, and of course, politics and the economy. I was not surprised to hear that he had commissioned a survey; it’s just the sort of thing he would do.

So how about those results? Lots of Democrat econimists—it must be biased? Well, I love math, but statistics are not my favourite type of math. I‘m in the camp of people who thinks the survey is an inconclusive indicator of which candidate would be best. I doubt that either of the candidates truly has a plan for the economy. They’re stating positions on issues, but whether or not they would follow through after being elected is doubtful at best.

The economy has been a hot issue of late, what with the uncertain financial markets. What about here in Canada? As always, the economy is an election issue. Harper is playing down job losses, stating the there is a net gain of job creation. Dion and Layton are jumping on the child-care bandwagon after the Tories tried to sway voters by claiming that if they weren’t elected, the government would cancel Harper’s national child-care plan (since I don’t know much about the child-care plan, my opinion is embryonic at best). And let us not forget Danny Williams, Premier of Newfoundland and Labrador, and his Anything But Conservative campaign. The ABC campaign has its roots in an economic issue: the removal of nonrenewable resource revenues from the energy equalization formula.¹ Harper broke this promise, so now Williams wants to encourage voters to elect a non-Tory government.

What about Dion’s crazy carbon tax and “Green Shift” plan, eh? We‘re all going to be driving to work in outboard canoes with seven layers of sweaters as we go back to living in igloos because we can’t turn on our furnaces, eh? This bit of environmentalism is just the latest consequence of an increasing social conscience toward “green” policies. The question is not whether this carbon tax makes sense, it’s do voters want a more environmentally-friendly government? If that is the case, then there’s two steps: 1) elect a government that will implement environmentally-friendly policies. This is probably ABC.² 2) Lobby your local MP to support environmental initiatives until the government implements something that works. Dion’s shown that he can be persuaded to modify his Green Shift plan. That may have just been election fever talking. But I mean, if it doesn’t work out between us and him, we can just dump him and call another election, eh?

I digress. Personally, I try to ignore the economy as much as possible. It gives me a headache. But I must admit that when it comes to voting, it’s an important issue. All politicians will screw up the economy; that’s a given. What you have to decide is: who will screw it up in your favour?

• [ 1 ] Newfoundland and Labrador have offshore oil reserves. Removing the nonrenewable resources from the calculation of revenue owed to the federal government would generate a huge amount of money for the province.
• [ 2 ] The Greens still have a snowball’s chance in hell—and soon, if we don’t implement green policies, the phrase will be “a snowball’s chance in Whitehorse”.

What’s with this sudden obsession about going green?

I’m not talking about environmentalism either. I’m talking about the new trend to infuse green tea into every possible drink. The Lipton green iced tea I understand (and enjoy). But Canada Dry green tea ginger ale?! Quoi? And all those specialty brands, like that Arizona chilled green tea (which I think tastes horrible)… it just seems like someone’s been planning this, as if there is some sort of invisible hand in the market determining the latest fads.

I know green tea is cool—after all, I drink it. It contains antioxidants and whatnot, so even if it isn’t a panacea like some claim, it is good for you. Yet now that it’s the trendy new drink, the contrarian part of me can’t help but feel bad for drinking green tea. I feel like I’m part of the bandwagon. No wait, that’s not accurate. I feel like I was napping comfortably in the wagon until one day, when it was stolen from its parking spot, kidnapping me in the process.

The Visa credit card company is always trying to give us free stuff. Think about it: “win what you buy”? That grocery contest? We all know that there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. The glorious capitalist system was founded on such a principle. So if Visa is giving away things for free, then they are violating the very foundation of free-market economy.

Is Visa in league with the terrorists? It wouldn’t surprise me: working away at our morals from the inside. It’s of course the only logical conclusion.

You might argue that Visa only uses these contests as promotional ventures to encourage spending through the Visa credit card. Quite frankly I think such detractors from my logical argument simply harbour sympathies for Visa and other communist conspirators!

I’m glad I’ve exposed this plot to shake the very pillars of prosperity before it went too far.